my year summed up into a christmas letter

One of the blessings of this time of year is the chance it gives me to connect with you, my friends and family. Although a lot of us follow each other on facebook and know most things that go on in The Blady household, I feel a Christmas letter is still necessary and personal.

This year has proven to be a very challenging year for me and for my family. I start every single year saying “This is going to be an amazing year.” I am sure the things that have happened have, happened for a reason, I am still working on the reason :) The first thing that happened this year was the passing of my grandfather. He had been in a nursing home for about 2 years and we had grown very close. We were never that close growing up but he became a very important person in my life. He was not happy in the home and I know that he is in a better place. Also in January we went on a trip to Hot Springs Arkansas with our best friends. It is always nice going on trips with them. Our kids are all best friends as well and we have a blast anywhere we go. February was not so positive. My dad was diagnosed with glioblastoma stage 4 brain cancer, which is terminal. I flew to North Dakota immediately and met with my sisters so we could be with our dad. It was the hardest thing to hear and to see him was even harder. He was in such a great mood and he acted as if nothing was wrong. He is a strong man and the last thing he wants of his girls is for us to feel bad for him. He was given 4-6 months to live, so I decided that it would be best for me to stay there with him, so he began radiation soon after. It was 2x a day, and it was the most aggressive radiation that they could give him. During that time we also began chemotherapy in the pill form. After the 6 weeks I decided that I wanted him to come home with me so he could spend time in Louisiana, he had planned for years to come down here, and I wanted my kids to be able to spend some time with him. It went by so fast.

He went back , and about 3 weeks later, when the kids got out of school, I drove up there with all the kiddos. One the way we stopped and saw my mom and we also went to Ouachita National Park in Oklahoma , Then it was off to North Dakota. We spend the whole summer up there. The kids LOVED being on the farm. I can not think of one single thing they did not like about it. The love all animals, tractors, the family, EVERYTHING! They could definatley handle being farm kids one day. The Gefroh family was so extremely hospitable for keeping us so long. Gavin was even able to fly up there for almost 2 weeks to spend time with us and dad. He was there for my dad's birthday and for Fathers Day which was very very nice. During the course of the summer it was time to admit my dad into a nursing home. The doctors said that there would come a point where we would have too and that point came. It was so hard, I cried for what seemed like forever but I knew it was the best decision. At that point he could not walk anymore and was always so confused. At one point before he went in he drove his vehicle over an hour because he had to go to his shoe factory, which is nonexistent.. He was becoming a danger to himself as well as others with this behavior, he just did not know what he was doing. I could tell you so many stories of crazy things he said or did, he always made me laugh. I was able to take him out of the nursing home whenever I wanted to though, I just had to help him into the car and pack up his wheelchair. I was happy that I was able to take him to the farm and on little outings.

Summer was ending and it was time to get the kids back home so they could go back to school. My mother in law was so gracious to fly to North Dakota to drive back home with me so I would not have to do it all by myself. We took the kids to the Badlands and to The Rocky Mountains. It was amazing, so peaceful and beautiful. It was cool to see snow on the tops of the mountain in late July. The kids had a really nice time seeing so much this year. They saw Hot Springs National Park,, Ouachita National Park,, The Badlands, and The Rocky Mountains. They are some lucky kids!

After school started I was on my way back to North Dakota with Lucas in tow. Boy that was a looooong drive just me and him, but we

made it. We spend every single day with my dad, he actually won a trip from the Dream Foundation for adults with a terminal illness. They gave us a trip to Yellowstone, it was such an honer to receive that. Unfortunately we were unable to go, my dad got sick and had to be

admitted into the hospital the day before we were scheduled to leave.He had a lot of lung issues and they believe that the chemotherapy has burned his lungs. So I had to make the decision of taking him off of chemo, I believe it was Gods way of keeping us in Bismarck so I would be there for what was about to happen.

In the beginning of September we received a call that my stepmother had passed away at the early age of 35. My dad had 4 children with her and they needed someone to be there for them since their dad was sick and their mom was no longer here. For the next 2 ½ months I lived in a hotel room in Bismarck with them so they could stay at their current school. My mom was able to come and help me, which was a blessing, and she was also given the opportunity to spend time with my dad. At one point during the summer my mom, dad, me, and both of my sisters were able to be together. Soon we began legal proceedings so we could have the children placed. Gavin and I knew that we were not able to take care of all 4 of them since we have 3 of our own, so God put the Merks into our lives. Our families go way back and they are great people to help take care of my siblings. Gavin and I took guardianship of my twin 7 year old brothers, Wade and Weston, and The Merks took my 3 year old brother Wyatt and my 9 year old sister Madison. They are adapting very well and are very loved.

This school year so far Abbey has been dong very well in school, she is now in the 5^th grade. I can not believe she is already in 5^th grade, time goes by way too fast. She has joined band this year and she really enjoys playing the clarinet. She has grown up so much in the last year, I see so much of myself in her and its amazing to watch her grow into such a beautiful young lady. She is ready for spring to come this year because she wants to play softball this year. I can't wait to see her out on the field.

Nathan has been busy with football. His team made it all the way to the Superbowl this year, just so you guys know, football is a really big deal here! The Superbowl game was the only game I got to see him play this year and although they lost, it was amazing to see him play. He really has a lot of love for the game. Now that the season is over , he still plays football in the front yard every day and takes his football to school so he can play at recess :) In school he does great, he makes straight A's and is a very smart kid. He is also excited for the spring so he can play baseball again, he is definitely a sports lover!

Lucas, well he has been with me all year so he has a lot of fun at the farm. He has went out seeding, combining, bailing, you name it and he has been out doing it on the farm. We have done a little homeschooling here and there with him and man he picks things up fast. He is growing too fast as well. My little guy is going to kindergarten next year so I am taking advantage of all this time that I have with him.

Mid November I was able to finally go home. I was able to spend some incredible time this year with my dad and God has given him way more time than anyone expected, and I am truly grateful. He was able to spend quality time with all of his children and we all were so lucky to spend this time together. When else in life would we be able to come together from so many states to be together like we used to when we were little. I am now home, and we are all adjusting to being a family of 7 now. Oh goodness 7!! The twins are adjusting very well though and so are my kids. Nathan is acting very grown up lately, He now is a big brother to 3 instead of 1 , Abbey is such an amazing help, and Lucas, well he is cute.

Well I am sorry that this letter has gone on so long, but I just didn't know how to some this all up in less than I did. Believe me, I could have made it longer! Thank you for taking the time to read this letter, I wish you all the Merriest Christmas Ever and the Best New Year! Remember to cherish your family this year because you never ever know what is in your near future.

Love The Blady's

Gavin, Amber, Abigail, Nathan, Lucas, Wade, and Weston

January 13........

January 13- This day was a hard day. I went to visit my grandfather with the kiddos around 430 that afternoon, he had just been transported back from Alexandria Hospital to the Rosepine Retirement home and we wanted to visit with him. He was asleep and not very responsive, but we talked to him anyway. I told him to squeeze my hand if he could hear me when I told him that I loved him. He squeezed very gently and my heart ached a little just knowing how weak he was.  We told him we loved him and told him we would be back tomorrow.

About 45 minutes later I received a call from the nursing home telling me that I should come asap, he would probley stop breathing within the next 5 minutes. I ran outside, screamed for my kids to get in the car so we could get there before his last breath. As we walked into his room, the machine went off and my heart broke. Tears were immediately running down my face. I didn't know what else to do but to lay over on him and let him know how much I loved him. My three children were so confused at that point being only 4, 7, and 10. I tried my hardest to explain to them that grandpa had passed away and was now in heaven with the angels and Jesus, and God . We had talked in the previous days about death and what happens when someones dies so it was not a complete shock to them.

The way they responded was amazing , Abbey-10, came over and laid her sweet head down on his chest and cried, Nathan-7 was next. They were both so mature, and loving. Lucas-4 slowly came over and gave him a hug. His body was still warm so it probley was if he was sleeping to them. All three of the kids kissed him on the cheek and told them how much they would miss him. I wasn't handling it very well, so I called my very good friend Kim and she came and picked the kids up. She came in the room and I can't even explain the sense of relief I felt, just knowing she was taking the kids and knowing how much she obviously cared about me as a friend.

I laid there with him as long as I possibly could, I didn't want to leave him because I knew once I left, that was it. I would never see him again. I laid there and held his hand until the coroner came in and took his body.  My grandmother, his wife who lived in Missouri, had told me already that he would be cremated so I said my goodbyes.

That evening was horrible. I went to Kims' and picked the kids and then they decided that they would stay the night with their friends, thank you Heidi, and Jessica! My bff Tricia came over and brought me some dinner and listened to me cry and did her best to comfort me. At that point, I think that might have been one of the hardest days of my life. My grandpa and I had not had a great relationship growing up, he was a drunk and always made mean comments. But in the last two years while he was in the nursing home, we became so close. He was honestly a changed man. I loved him and wish I had more time with him every single day.

In the days following his family made things very difficult, like alot of families do as I hear. I was accused of wanting his stuff because I went to his house the next day with the kids just to mourn and to get one last picture in my head of him sitting on the porch smoking his cigarettes. My family, especially my mother hurt me so bad that I honestly can never forgive her. She said some of the meanest things I have ever heard come from a mothers mouth. Those days of her saying what she said to me made me feel like I just wanted to die. My heart hurt so bad I didn't even want to live another day, I was thinking what would happen to my kids and my husband and wondering if they could make life work without me.

After praying REALLY hard and doing alot of soul searching I realized that that was not in the cards for me. God would not want me to end my life because of mean things my mother said to me. She claims to me such a christian woman but a christian person would not say such mean things. I just had to push that all out of my mind and move forward. My husband was such a rock through all of this and I would have never got past all of it without him. He was sent to me from God and for that I will be forever thankful. I have forgiven my mother, but will never forget. Although I pray that I will :)

I think this situation was a test of my love for God and defiantly made me realize that I do have a reason to be on this earth.

Rock and a hard Place.......

Here is an email between me and my grandmother:

• Amber Gefroh Blady

  • Hey Grandma, I talked to the nurse today and was talking about gramps, and she said that you would rather him not go back to the nursing home. She told me that they were recommending hospice. She said that he could go back to the nursing home and get hospice or could go in a hospice facility. I ideally would love to see him come back here and get hospice so we can spend time with him in his last time, I jsut wanted to get you feelings on it... Love, Amber
• 

  52 minutes ago

  Karan Marsh

  • Amber the doctors have been talking to me the past few days and they are tallking about hospice.
  • Don't know where the nurse is getting her infro as to me.
• 

  44 minutes ago

  Amber Gefroh Blady

  • so what are your thoughts on hospice?
• 

  43 minutes ago

  Karan Marsh

  • My email addy is karan1m@aol.com
• 

  9 minutes ago

  Karan Marsh

  • Amber I am in favor of hospice, but, number one, the nurse had no business telling anyone anything especially telling you that I didn't want him coming back there. As it stands now, unless they change their minds again, he will probably be coming to Leesville tomorrow or the next day, they are going to call and tell me when they move him. He will be at Hospice of Leesville. The nursing home doesn't have the capabilities of hospice. I spoke to his sister Jean several times today, as well as the past few days on this as well and she is very much in favor of this also as is his whole family. That is all I can tell you tonight.
• 

  6 minutes ago

  Karan Marsh

  • Once I made the decision along with his sister, they ask where to send him and I said Rosepine Nursing, but I found out as mentioned above that he can't go back there.
• 

  2 minutes ago

  Amber Gefroh Blady

  • oh, I wish they had the capabilities to take care of him here, but whereever he is we will see him 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Okay so really! She left him 2 years ago, what does she care what they tell me. I am his primary care person. And his sister, wtf, I didn't even know my grandpa had a sister til not that long ago. I have lived within 45 minutes of my grandpa for 25 years and have never ever heard of her or seen her and now she wants things done her way and her and my grandma are bff's. There has been one person, well and my family, that has seen him in 2 years, ME! My mother just called me and said my grandmother is all upset about this situation and me getting in the middle, are you kidding! We all know you just want him to die so you can sell the house and be free of any expenses he is causing. I am so mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!