Lonely

Having a husband that is gone 2 weeks at a time, sometimes three then home for up to 2 weeks, most of the time less, is acually pretty hard. I usually say that it is great because it gives me a chance to focus on other stuff like random crafts and friends. But some days it is really hard. You just get used to having an extra adult at home to tell the kids to go to bed, or to help with the dishes, or even just to snuggle with.. When he is gone, I would just like to adopt an adult to stay at my house in the evening and just make sure the kids get their stuff done and keep me company when i just wanna chat in the evening. 


It sounds kinda stupid, because sometimes I get excited when he leaves because I feel almost like our lives go back to normal when he is gone, but in reality it is only normal when he is home. I am thankful that I have great friends that help make up for it, but they can't do somethings that a man does. NO I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT SEX! I am talking about cuddling on the couch, laying in his lap or shoulder while watching a movie, holding hands, and those long sweet hugs. I miss those things every two weeks of my life. 


I would love love love to clone my husband so that I could just have a substitute of him while he is at work. Just a warm body really, he doesn't have to talk that much lol. Just be cuddly lol. Maybe I should just get a huge teddy bear because I am sounding extremely weird right now. 


I was just going to start saying how I hate when he is gone and I am alone, but there are times that I would kill to be alone. The last two weeks have been some of those times. To be alone, completely alone would have been amazing , just for a day. As anyone who has been reading my blog knows, I have been venting about a different situation and could really just use 24 hours to really be alone and think. Not having to make sure kid eat, do homework, stay safe, etc, its really what i need. I have not completely dealt with the problem inside yet, and well at times its really hard. I hate internal battles!!!!!!! Ok so todays topic went a little of course so I am going to get these kiddos ready for soccer games and get on with my day :)