I am a very visual person. You tell me something, I my mind automatically just see's it. It is very disturbing at times. Why can't I just see sugar plums dancing in my head all the time instead of everything anyone has ever done or said to me that is hurtful.
Anyway, I saw something not too long ago and I can't get it out of my mind. Its a vision that honestly makes me question the last 13 years of my life. What happened?? I don't understand.
People can really disappoint you, even the people you love the most. I can name so many people that have let me down in my life, that its not even funny. I am at a loss right now and so confused. I wish I could hit the pause button on my life right now and not hit play until my head is cleared up. Have you ever looked around you and all you see is just everything rushing by you, everything looks like its in fast forward? I am in slow mode right now and every day just goes by quicker than the last.
I so wish I had the nerve to type what happened, you would understand so much better. But I just can't, nor do I think my fingers will ever type it. I am probley making a bigger deal out of it than it is, but in amberland, nobody does anything like this, especially to me, lol. That sounds stupid, but really that is how I feel. I would watch Law and Order SVU all the time, and I would say "gosh that sucks what happened to that little girl, but stuff like that doesn't happen in real life so that's good!." But in reality, it happens, just like this aweful thing happened to me. VISIONS..........I hate visions! I hate that I saw, I hate that I know, I hate that it happened! I am not sure if God tests people, but if he does, I don't know how many more tests I can get and A or B on!
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